A healthy relationship must have both good and bad moments. The expectations we have when getting into any relationship will determine the outcome of that relationship. If you and your partner have similar and realistic expectations, a lifetime together is very likely. However, if your expectations are different and/or unrealistic, your relationship is destined to fail.
The environment in which we grow up greatly determines the kind of expectations we have. The difference in our upbringing is what causes misunderstandings in most relationships. Watching romantic movies, reading magazines and novels or even talking with friends also contribute greatly to the buildup of unrealistic expectations. However, it is good to always remember that every good relationship takes hard work and dedication from both parties. Comparison is what kills many relationships because most people fail to understand that each relationship is different. There are many unrealistic expectations people have in relationships but here are just a few:
If a woman has a friend who is in what she would term as a good relationship, many times she will expect hers to be the same. She expects her boyfriend to be exactly as her friend’s partner regardless of the differences in economic status and/or personality traits. This is not just a woman’s thing; men also more often than not, have these same ridiculous expectations. We should always remember that we all possess different traits and should learn to relate to others despite those differences.
Some of us expect our partners to be exactly how we want them to be. This is a very unrealistic expectation because it is not possible to change a person by simply wishing it on them. Before getting into any relationship, we often look for certain qualities. Some of us even go to the extent of writing them down. However, the standards we set are sometimes humanely impossible and when we get a partner who does not meet all our qualifications, it becomes a frustrating experience and causes chaos in the relationship. Setting realistic expectations would be a sure way to avoid ending up in a stressful relationship.
Some of us are raised in families where our parents did not quarrel or raise their voices at each other in front us and we think this is common even behind closed doors. For this reason, we expect our relationships to be that way. Therefore, when a misunderstanding occurs and a partner gets really pissed and raises his/her voice, we think it is less than the perfect relationship we really want.
Well, this is not reality. Every relationship will have its ups and downs.
Setting reasonable expectations for a relationship is the only sure way to succeed in it. But, at the same time, having no expectations, the relationship is destined to fail.