Of all the excuses your friends have made for not making it to today’s ball game, ‘I have a date’ is probably the most common. The dating bug has bitten us all at some point or another, in our lives. But what if you found someone, and then it didn’t quite work out? Or what if you’re just plain fed up with the whole process? If you’re Tired Of Dating – what next? What are the reasons that may leave you averse to dating?
Tired of Dating
You have trust issues:
This is a major reason people get tired of dating. You may have found someone you felt was perfect, and spent a lot of time and energy on the person. Suddenly, they may have ‘found someone better’, or said that ‘it isn’t working’, for whatever reasons. A few such incidents, and you tend to become mistrustful, wary, and insecure. Trust issues cause a lot of pessimism, and a lot of people just feel like giving up.
So what do you do? Wait. Learn new languages, maybe try out new forms of art. Go hiking somewhere. Explore a new city by yourself. Perform one random act of kindness every day. You will find that your time can be better used than just moping around and worrying over your love-life. Besides, branching out in different directions makes you a better-rounded person, thus improving your chances of finding that elusive perfect date.
You are separated / divorced:
Separation is always a painful process. For one thing, there is the natural disillusionment owing to the fact that all those promises and commitments you made to each other have fallen down around you. Then there is the trauma of missing the other person, and holding on to the good parts of the relationship. Obviously, you’re resentful and nostalgic, and are too tired to even consider dating, let alone actually going ahead and doing it. Or what is he or she has gone on and started dating someone else? Of course, that just intensifies all the negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
What is the solution to your predicament? It may be hard to hear, and it is an oft-repeated phrase, but the only thing that will truly help you, is Time. Meanwhile, a big step would be to get rid of any memorabilia that you have, anything at all that reminds you of the other person. Also, meditation and/or fitness routines have been known to work wonders in such cases. The endorphins that fitness generates will definitely give you a high, and a clean, harmless one at that and will also cause you to take your mind off what your ex “might” be up to.
You have had too many failed relationships because of your own lack of fidelity:
If you’re in this rather unenviable place, you’ve doubtless been through a lot of moral sermonizing and sanctimonious looks of condescension. Don’t worry about it. Of course, infidelity in itself is definitely not right, but it’s a manifestation of a lack of readiness, a lack of maturity, and quite possibly a manifestation of some of your own unresolved emotional issues. All the preaching will doubtless have left you tired and absolutely unwilling to date, at least for a while.
The best way to overcome this is through introspection. Think about why exactly the lack of faithfulness came about. And how it can change in the future. Think about whether you are really ready to commit, ready to accept a person for what they are, and not involve yourself with anyone else apart from that person. Maturity doesn’t happen over a day; it takes a lot of contemplation, time, and experience.
Whatever the problem is, it’s understandable to be tired of the whole dating process. However, don’t give in. 63% of people find their perfect mates in completely unexpected places. Like Alexandre Dumas said, “Until the day God will deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is contained in these two words, ‘Wait and Hope.”
Tired of Dating