The Art of Listening
Dating has never been trickier than it is today. Once upon a time, dating was the easiest thing in the world to do. People knew each other. Families knew their neighbors and let’s face it, 100 years ago, men didn’t travel very far to pick up their date! When the boy next door asked a girl out, she knew who he was, what he was like and what she could expect. Fast forward to the 21st century, and the game has changed and drastically. So shut up and listen-
Today, we have to look out for signs, read signals and read between the lines. But in this fast-paced world we live in, do we spend too much time talking about ourselves to get his attention? Maybe the signals and signs are right up front and not as hard to spot as we think they are if we were to shut up and listen.
Missing the Mark
If you meet your girlfriends the next day and talk about your date as if he was just another outfit you tried on at the local Macy’s, you may have missed something. By spending too much time talking yourself up, you may be talking yourself out of a great catch, or you may be overlooking the signs that he’s a jerk! Men are simple creatures. They have very basic needs and desires. Most want to have a fair shake when it comes to women. They want to talk about their work, their hobbies and want you to genuinely be impressed with them.
Sometimes a man can be overbearing in this regard, but have we become so cynical about men that we don’t give them a fair chance to impress us? When a guy asks you out, he’s interested. Something about you has triggered something in him that makes him want to spend time getting to know you, but mostly he wants you to get to know him. On a first date, we can easily spot certain traits that we will either like or dislike immediately. If we pay attention.
Let him talk about his job, his interests, his friends. Listen to his stories from college or last weekend. There are signs in his stories that will tell you if he has potential to be a boyfriend or a one-date wonder. The potential boyfriend will offer up a story with the intention of opening up a conversation. He wants you to react and share a similar story.
But if you go on too long, you won’t have the opportunity to find the next clue. Give him a chance to react to your story and share another. When things are going well, you’ll find that the conversation flows easily. If he’s a jerk, he will go on and ignore the fact that you may have something to add to the conversation. When we just shut up and listen to him, we can learn enough about him to decide if we want that second date or not.
Therefore when looking to date, stay focused and look for clues. Shut up and listen to his heart. I can just about guarantee you’ll be both safe and satisfied in your dating experience.