Over recent years, there have been increased debates regarding Relationship Issues with the escalating cases of adultery and how spouses are finding it difficult to deal with these types of relationship issues and recover from adultery. Therefore, if viable solutions are to be found to successfully recover from adultery, it is vital that we begin by dissecting the causes of these affairs. Once these causes are clarified, we can then find ways of moving ahead in terms of remaining with your spouse or leaving them.
Recovering From Adultery
Major Reasons People Have Affairs-
Some of the major causes of affairs include the following:
Marital Problems: Studies by various researchers indicate that people who experience relationship issues have some problems in their marriages often engage in extra-marital affairs. For these individuals, the affairs act as a way of ventilating their marriage problems.
· Lack of Emotional Bond: Humans are known to be emotional beings and for married couples, the emotional element is even more important. The lack of emotional bonding in bed or even in day-to-day endeavors makes some people feel unappreciated and uncared for resulting in major relationship issues. As a way of establishing an emotional bond that makes them feel appreciated and intimate, some individuals opt for affairs.
· Sex-related Problems: Impotence or lack of good sex skills often leaves these individuals unsatisfied and bored. Also, there are some men/women who “deny” their spouse their conjugal rights thereby leaving them sexually frustrated resulting in more relationship issues. In the end, these frustrated people engage in extra-marital affairs as a way of getting sexual satisfaction.
· Loneliness: Loneliness in marriage can be the result of many relationship issues such as overworking by one partner, thus no time for the other spouse. Also, long-distance relationships, and lack of time to talk or listen to your partner poses another serious issue. As a result of the boredom that comes with this loneliness, some people find themselves cheating on their spouses.
The moment you discover that your spouse has been having an affair, that moment becomes the most difficult of all the relationship issues, emotionally intense with feelings of betrayal, anger, hurt, bewilderment, and shock. It is advisable that you take tremendous caution so that you do not make any irrational or illogical decisions that will worsen your circumstance. Some of the ways you could handle this situation and recover from adultery I’ve listed below:
Relationship Issues and Recovering from adultery-
The first thing you should do when you realize that your spouse is having an affair is to give yourself some time and space to ventilate and to pray. Engaging in destructive activities like alcohol, drugs, self-loathing, and blaming one another will not change the fact that the affair has already taken place.
While taking your time to think about the affair and ways of pressing ahead, it is important to sit down with your partner and get down to the bottom of the affair. Knowing the exact details of the affair such as the frequency, the circumstances that led to it and your partner’s reaction to the affair (only if your emotionally ready), will determine a lot in you recovering from adultery.
In addition to these details, do an overall assessment of the marriage. If you find that your differences are irreconcilable, then you should consider other options like leaving your spouse. However, if your differences are solvable, then it is best to consider options such as forgiving your spouse and looking for ways in which both of you can avoid a re-occurrence of this situation. Some methods that can be used here include counseling from qualified marriage therapists, creating more time for one another to talk, bond, and build on the trust that has been broken by the affair.
Many people have had happy relationships and marriages even after affairs and you too can be among those people. On the reverse-side, it may be better to sever the tie with your unfaithful partner—especially when the damage done is extreme or the chances of your partner changing are miniscule. In summary, the way you deal with the affair all depends on you, your partner, and the professional advice from qualified relationship therapists.
Relationship Issues- Recovering From Adultery