Dating and Relationship Advice
Article By Chris Cade
“When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.
Then people come into your life for a SEASON because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid spiritual foundation. Your challenge is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.”
Many times our attachments to people cause us pain while we lose sight of what relationships are really about – being together, enjoying, growing, nurturing… connecting. This passage guides us towards viewing relationships more holistically and to embrace what IS here and now.
For example, if we knew that a person was only to be in our life for a few hours, but that in those hours we would learn a great life altering lesson, then we can more fully embrace those moments with them. Mourning the time we can’t spend with them will be irrelevant because the only time we’re not with them is in our past or future… which are both nothing more than reference points that exist only in our mind. Yet, the future (and our future memories of this past) will be one which is brightened because of the positive influence that person has had on our life.
But what if that relationship, no matter how brief, is a painful one? How can we embrace that pain which we view as “bad” or “negative”? Again, there is a lesson to be learned in knowing this person is in our life for a specific reason. We may want to push this pain away, even to wish it never happened; however, when we are able to fully understand and realize the reason why we feel this pain then we will learn a great lesson that will have a profoundly amazing influence on our life for all future moments.
If we knew a person were to be in our life for a few years and yet their only purpose in our life was to share joy and love, then we would be able to more fully embrace this experience knowing that its purpose is for exactly that – to share the beauty of life. Again the past fades away, the present is joyous, and the future is full of the love we carry forward from our experience with that person.
Even in lifetime relationships, the message is for us to embrace the moment we are in as a springboard to enable us to more fully embrace future moments as well. Some of these moments can be very challenging, but those relationships which challenge us the most also provide the greatest opportunity for growth, for happiness, and ultimately to experience lasting peace within ourselves.
We are then able to see that regardless of the immediate reason a person comes into our life, we are presented an opportunity. It is an opportunity which we can enjoy and learn from, or we can attach to it and bring ourselves unnecessary pain and suffering when that person is no longer present in our lives. The choice is always yours.
To understand more fully what I mean when I say the choice is yours, take a break for two minutes. During this time, close your eyes and focus your attention into feeling your belly as you breathe in and out. Then ask yourself this question:
How might I be positively influenced if I believe that relationships are temporary and exist for specific reasons that help aid in my emotional and spiritual growth?
People Come Into Your Life For A Reason