Are you an over analyzer?
Over Analyzing can be quite an addictive habit, especially in relationships. Sometimes we think, obsess, and mull over our dynamics and interactions with our partners to the point of excess. And why wouldn’t we? Romantic relationships often become one of the most important aspects of our lives, therefore it only makes sense that we spend quite a bit of time thinking about them, right? Maybe, maybe not. Sure, it is great to have open and honest communication with your partner in order to ensure a healthy relationship. It is an intrinsic aspect of being a human being to analyze and consider the dynamics we have with others. However, there is a distinct difference between analyzing and over-analyzing, the latter of which can be quite detrimental to relationships
There are a plethora of things that can be over analyzed and obsessed about in a relationship – such as levels of commitment, closeness, suitability, honesty, etc. You may worry – “is my partner being faithful to me?”, “are we as close as we should be?”, “are we right for each other?”, “are they telling me the truth?”, and so on. It is easy to fall into a habit of worrying about all of these things, and then looking for validations of your fears in the actions and words of your partner. Chances are that if you think that every word and action that comes from your partner has a deeper meaning, and then spend a great deal of time energy obsessing over the true meaning – you are an over analyzer.
Why over-analyzing isn’t healthy
When you over analyze, you are essentially driving yourself crazy. You are no longer living in the reality of your relationship, but rather what you believe it to be. You are thinking about it, instead of experiencing it! Yes, there is something to be said for putting some real thought and effort into your relationship, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But over analyzing is stressing and worrying over things that do not need to be stressed over or worried about. Over analyzing is looking too far into the words and actions of your partner.
When you do not accept what your partner is saying as fact, this can lead to complications, and ultimately, sabotage the relationship.
Over analyzing can also be especially problematic in new relationships. You obsess when they don’t call, and dissect every word they say to assess their level of commitment and interest in you. This can make it very hard to get to know someone, and also, takes all the fun out of a new relationship! Unfortunately, obsessive over analyzing can end a relationship before it even has the chance to properly begin.
A few tips to kick the over analyzing habit!
– Accept face value: Try to accept the words and actions of the partner for what they are! Do not try to look into them farther for deeper meanings (unless this is seriously warranted).
– Communication openly: If you have thoughts or questions regarding your relationship – talk to your partner about it, instead of obsessing and worrying about it.
– Get a life: One of the worst things you can do is to sit around imagining what your partner is doing. Get up and get busy developing yourself. Pamper yourself by doing things that are beneficial for you.
If you are an over analyzer, do not fear, it is really not the end of the world. At the heart of over analyzing is concern and care for your relationship, so you are on the right track. Just try to focus on trying to be present and engaged in your relationship, instead of worrying about it on your own. Best of luck!