Entering into a marriage understanding what real Love is strengthens the foundations and allows us to enter the marriage without false notions of everything always being happy and joyful. It keeps us from being surprised when we have to put effort into caring for our partner, and gives us the groundwork to remind our partners how we deserve to be treated. It helps increase our commitment by decreasing our false perceptions. But even that knowledge doesn’t protect us from many of the circumstances and actions that can cause some many Failing Marriages.
Some of the more prevalent causes of divorce include:
7 Reasons For Failing Marriages
1. Lack of Commitment Causes Failing Marriages – Understanding Love helps avoid this, but even understanding doesn’t always protect us from the desire to just quit when things become difficult. Strong commitment is a must for any marriage; the shared commitments to fix the relationship instead of throw it away.
2. Unrealistic Expectations Causes Failing Marriages– Unfortunately, it is hard to know what to expect of something you have never experienced, so unrealistic expectations of marriage are very common. The best plan to avoid these expectations is to talk to couples who have been married for a long time or go to a marriage counselor before marriage. It is often the specifics that cause problems, the repetitive nature of a relationship, the loss of passion, unknown habits, etc. Understanding that the feeling will not always be there is a good step to not holding on to unrealistic expectations.
3. Getting Married Too Young Causes Failing Marriages – Many marriages fail simply because the individuals were not yet mature enough to settle down. Youth is full of exuberance and experimentation; we gain the wisdom we need to make a marriage successful through trial and error when we are young. Getting married before we have experienced enough of adult life gives us unrealistic expectations and builds resentment for our lost youth.
4. Arguing Causes Failing Marriages – Arguments will happen in every relationship; they can even be healthy. But arguments that have no resolution lead to divorce; yelling at each other, placing blame and accusations, and expressing anger without taking the time to find a compromising resolution just leads to anger resentment, and more tension. Arguments should be seen as an opportunity to communicate disagreements and find resolution, never as a way to vent pent up emotions at your partner.
5. Infidelity Causes Failing Marriages – The desire to be with another person is part of human nature. Being monogamous will likely be an effort at some point, and the temptation toward infidelity is often a reaction to boredom and/or discontent. It is one of the hardest subjects for couples to talk about, but open discussions about the desire to be with another person can improve a marriage. If we share our desire to have a missing need filled by another person, it gives our partner the opportunity to fill those needs; chances are it will be a surprise that someone is unfulfilled.
6. Inequality Causes Failing Marriages – The give and take of a marriage must be equal. If one partner feels the need to “carry” the other, with no reciprocation, the marriage will likely fail due to resentment and feelings of being used.
7. Abuse Causes Failing Marriages – There are far too many failing marriages due to abuse. Abuse – physical, emotional, or psychological – is unacceptable. Many men and women find themselves in failing marriages they feel trapped in because of abuse. If you are being abused, do not hesitate – go to the nearest shelter and get help. There are organizations all over the country designed to protect victims of abuse and help them start over.
Marriage is a decision that will change your life forever, whether it succeeds or fails. Within a healthy marriage there must be communication, respect, trust, commitment, loyalty, and affection. We play Relationship Roulette in marriage in many ways; by lying, cheating, not communicating properly, or by expecting too much, generally causing failing marriages. Every marriage has a lot of bullets to dodge, but understanding what Love means and standing firm in your commitment will help you keep your marriage alive and healthy.
Remember these 7 Reasons For Failing Marriages………