Discovering ways To Develop Healthy Relationships is one of the most beautiful things that can happen to any couple. However, even the best of Healthy Relationships sometimes go through some painful and disappointing phases. It is completely impossible to have a fault free relationship. At some point your spouse or partner will hurt you, thus the need to practice forgiveness.
The importance of forgiveness in developing healthy relationships
Forgiveness generally is not an easy task. It is a difficult process that takes a lot of work, willingness, and time. Actually, healing-from-the-inside-out depends on the magnitude of the “wrong” that has been done and most importantly the willingness of your spouse or partner to help you walk through the healing process. Forgiveness is one of the primary ingredients for developing healthy relationships.
When you are deeply hurt by a person you trust and love, there are emotions that run through your mind, ranging from a feeling of betrayal, deep hurt, guilt e.t.c. These feelings end up making you feel justified not to forgive. Loss of trust is the most painful and difficult thing to restore in attempting to build healthy relationships. Ideally it should be worked on by both of you for complete restoration to take place.
I have been there and know exactly how you feel!
To enable you to begin to develop healthy relationships that will last for a lifetime I have recorded the following tips-
4 Ways To Develop Healthy Relationships:
Mourn your hurt to develop healthy relationships
When you discover that you have been hurt, the first step is accepting the hurt, and allow yourself to grieve. If you feel like crying you can cry (men included), until you feel a sense of relief. Write your feelings down if it can help you. Vent out in a responsible manner, at this stage you will have to get the pain out of your heart in a manner that does not cause more harm. Talking to a responsible person, a person you respect and trust could be of great help to you. Remember this might not be a one time thing; you might have to talk with your friend on many occasions. That’s okay as healing could be a slow process.
Confront your spouse or partner lovingly to develop healthy relationships
Once you are sure you are in control of your emotions, it is important to let your spouse or partner know how you feel. Allow him/her to defend himself/herself. You should also be in a position to also explain your feelings to them. Get emotional if you have to. Again, you can cry, this helps in the healing process. Inform them that you have chosen to forgive them. This helps a great deal in healing process. Work it out with your spouse or partner. For a complete healing learn to give up looking for little proofs of the mistake. This will only take you backwards and delay the healing process.
Always look for something positive in your relationship when developing healthy relationships
Try and focus on things in your relationships that you can be thankful for. Look for every opportunity to appreciate your spouse or partner. This will greatly shift your attention from the hurt and help you to heal faster. Resist living in the past. Refrain from reminding yourself and your spouse or partner of the past. Concentrate on the present and your future together. This will help you avoid relapses and entertaining frayed emotions which will not help you in your recovery process. Spend more quiet time with your spouse or partner. When you spend more time with your spouse or partner you will trust and forgive faster than if you do not. Try and do things you both love together. Remember forgiveness will only be complete when trust is restored. Share your feelings honestly and continuously with your spouse or partner.
Another very good tip for developing healthy relationships is to share every emotional relapses with your spouse or partner consistently as this is important for complete healing. It is important for your spouse or partner to know this as it will enable them to help you with your recovery. Also remember, in as much as you are hurting, your spouse or partner have their own emotional issues to deal with. Help them also to recover by assuring them of your total forgiveness
Choose to love again when developing healthy relationships
Lastly, choose to love your spouse again and assure them constantly of your love. You might feel that you are doing too much especially because you were the one who was hurt. Remember, both of you have a responsibility to make the relationship work! This is a deliberate choice that you must make and work towards.
How To Develop Healthy Relationships