Is Chivalry Dead?
What ever happened to chivalry, abstinence, and just down right trustworthiness in our dating culture? This is a question that seems to plaque our society in an ever demoralized and secular culture. We constantly hear the elders of our communities speak about the “good ole days” when men held doors for women, pre-marital sex was frowned upon, and cheating within a relationship was of the worst offenses. The answer is simple, in an ever individualized society our morals have changed from integrity and respect for one another to a self-fulfilling and inconsiderate one.
Throughout history humans have seen many forms of relationship forming processes. Feudal chivalry, Victorian courtship, or modern dating are just a few examples. Each of these processes have the same goal in mind; to form a relationship in which two people can maintain and remain together. They each have their own set of values however. Feudal chivalry was largely based off of a mans ability to our perform or pay for his wife in a noble and honorable way. Victorian courtship was interested in the interaction between the potential spouses and their families. Family and the respect there of was of utmost importance. As one can see even in a simple review of these morality was a key factor. When looking at modern dating we see something vastly different however.
Modern dating is unlike any other relational process the world has ever seen in that it has undergone the most drastic changes. We often hear our elders talk about how; chivalry has died, young people do not respect each other, and how they have over-sexualized relationships leaving emotionally scarred people as the result. Upon further analysis these statements could not be more true. In an era of decreased human interaction it has become more and more popular to ditch the traditional values in this area.
A decrease in human interaction has made it easier and easier for people to become mean, self-centered, and individualistic. This movement towards the individual and away from community has contributed to the devaluation of relationships. Men and women alike have ditched the idea of having a committed and selfless relationship. It has become much more expedient for the individual to merely seek to meet their own needs. It is impossible to blame either sex for this phenomena for both have contributed to the demoralization of dating. Men have become lazy in their efforts by ditching traditions such as paying the bill, driving, and opening doors. Women have contributed in similar ways by having lower expectations as to what is considered gentlemanly.
Ultimately this demoralization and lack of dating integrity comes down to the media. Hollywood, Magazines and TV have taught this new generation that it is more valuable to be an individual then to have morals and integrity. Media have taught men that it is not “cool or hip” to be a gentleman, and that being a lady is not what “gets a man”. It is truly tragic that our society has allowed people on and behind a big screen to influence our own values and ideals.
What ever happened to dating integrity?