Control With Sex In Relationships

Control With Sex In Relationships

How do you feel about yourself right now? Do you like who you are? Are you truthfully content with your life and glad to get up in the morning? If your answers are an honest yes I would venture to bet that you are content with many, if not most of your Relationships. Generally, when we feel good or in control or needed, then our problems seem few. Relationships, or the lack thereof, really tend to tug deeply at our souls. In most cases a person will view their image and value as a person by the quality and sometimes quantity of their relationships.

Control With Sex In Relationships

We want people to like us and this is why. We don’t want to feel rejected. If we feel loved by others, then we are lovable in return. But the feelings from being loved and valued in our relationships will often fade. And sometimes there won’t be enough there to sustain us and restore our souls.

Even though relationships are central to many of our problems, we are often oblivious to the fact that it is our own behaviors that are damaging our relationships. These behaviors generally result in what I call a “cycle of defeat” in relationships that generally we don’t even recognize.

All of us have experienced hurt in our relationships, beginning with our primary caregivers and continuing to this very moment. We all react to this pain in the same way. We want to stop it as quickly as possible, and to keep it blocked off. Over the years in order to minimize the amount of hurt people can inflict on us, we’ve all learned to be “controllers” to varying degrees. Generally, men control women by taking advantage of their emotions and placing them in bondage through sex without commitment. And women control men by abusing their power of influence through sex. So, generally speaking, sex has become the instrument of choice by which people are manipulated in relationships.

In my opinion, sex has become almost the equivalent of money. People will literally beg, borrow, and steal for sex. People and organizations are now trafficking sex not only using adults but children. Advertisers understand our seemingly insatiable appetite for sex so now in Christmas commercials we’re seeing men in boxers “shaking” their balls (bells) at us. And Victoria Secrets has never been bashful when it comes to flashing their almost-nude female models on TV, particularly during the holiday season.

Sure sex is a hot commodity, just look at the explosion of the porn industry. But just because sex sells doesn’t mean that promiscuous sex and engaging multiple sex partners is healthy or right. Does it?

Listen, drive drunk long enough and you may or may not get caught. But in the process of dodging the police and the DUI’s you are damaging your own body. And it’s no different with promiscuous sex. You may avoid major health issues, i.e.; STD’s, HIV-AIDS, but you are slowly damaging yourself in the process.

Haven’t you noticed that many of our most popular habits sometime become the most detrimental to us? Think cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, and now rampant sex. And we tend not to get it until after the death toll rings.

Ok so what’s the message in all of this?


The potential result………more pain, disillusionment, and superficial relationships.

Again the result………frustration, isolation, and the complete loss of self and self-esteem.

Control With Sex In Relationships

Theodore Lovelace

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Theodore Lovelace is an expert on dating and relationship ...

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