Are you suffering from a painful breakup? Was your relationship with your ex worth hanging onto? Do you always think you attract the wrong type of people? Why do I keep getting in abusive relationships? Have these questions been racing through your mind?
If you find yourself answering yes to any one of these then it is time to take a relationship breather. Stop thinking this way and take a deep look within – the problem may lie within you rather than in all the people you have been unconsciously choosing to have a relationship with. What are your reasons for getting into abusive relationships? Are you looking for love, fulfillment, just sex, or materialistic and financial gains? “I attract the wrong kind of person” – it’s easy to think this way. However, the reality is that you only allow the wrong kind of people to get close to you. You need to take responsibility for the fact that getting into abusive relationships is a choice you are making albeit an unconscious one.
The Problem Within
If you delve a little deeper you will see the reasons for this choice are your low self-esteem or low self-worth. You only allow the worst types into your inner circle because you lack the confidence to interact with the kind of people out there who you think are out of your league. Or because you seldom meet anyone and so when you do you settle for whoever or whatever you are getting since the desperately needy really can’t be choosy.
Why do you think you are desperately needy? Why are your standards so low? These questions are thought-provoking and self-reflective, to say the least. The reason for thinking this way could be the result of an abusive parent relationship, a traumatic childhood, being rejected often, not being loved unconditionally, or even previous abusive relationships. You deserve love simply because you are – there is nothing you need to do to earn it – nobody deserves to be treated badly.
Believe In Yourself
How you treat yourself is how your partner will treat you. If you have low self-esteem and lack confidence, then you will unconsciously mingle with people who are acceptable to your minimum criteria and low standard of comfort. If you are not satisfied and not confident in yourself, how can you love another, much less attract another who loves you sincerely? You have to be able to love someone who understands what love is. Neither do you want to be a martyr in a one-way relationship. Nor do you want to be a scapegoat being abused for another person’s erratic emotional state. When you respect yourself only then will you allow others to respect you? Respect is extremely important in any relationship. The lack of respect is the primary ingredient for abusive relationships.
Why You Keep Doing It
Why do I keep getting In abusive relationships? Are you still asking yourself this question? There is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ relationship or Mr. Right or Ms. Right. All relationships need nurturing like growing a plant from a seed. However, remember that true nurturing can only take place amongst equals. By equals, I mean equals in outlook, maturity, and emotional intelligence.